It Has to Be Worse to Get Better

by Best Grandma

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lyrics

Cold and half-awake, I said to myself, “Today’s the day.” And it was really that simple. I had to leave while the house got cleaned, so I drove north for awhile to let the time pass. Word came through I could come back, so I headed south again. It seemed no one was home; everything was still. I found some paper, and scrawled out all the parting words I could think of. Some last “I love you”s to my very best friends, and I went into the garage to get the ladder. And I wrapped the cord real tight around the bannister. And I closed my eyes one final time. And I began my dreaded ascent. I made it three steps up the ladder, and that was all I could manage. I broke. I choked. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I stood and I wept until my sister came down and untied me. And I collapsed to the floor, and nothing mattered anymore. My mother came home from work and picked me up, and the two took me to the hospital. Nine hours, and I was a number. Five days, they gave me pills and said "Fell better." Five days, they asked me question after question. Five days, they locked me up in a room with a camera. They roomed me with an addict, who had plenty to say about the world and everything. My family brought me clothes; my father said hello. Vanessa came over, and I started feeling better. A man from the county came, and said to let me go home again. And after the worst week,
I started over.

I’m starting over.

credits

released December 3, 2015

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about

Best Grandma California

Alex Crupi
Nathan St. John
Devan Agrawal
Henry Amestoy

Bummer jams that we'll hate ourselves for in 5 years.

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